


Like the Illuminati, but Gay

by Forest_Girl



Series: Danero Week 2019 [2]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Affection, M/M, Nicknames, Nicoletta Goldstein has a Potty Mouth, Pet Names, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 23:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20768501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forest_Girl/pseuds/Forest_Girl
Summary: Nico wasn't blind.





	Like the Illuminati, but Gay

Nico had a foul mouth. Quite possibly the foulest mouth in the city, if she had to guess. She swore worse than a sailor, knew more ways to offend someone with hand signals than a deaf person, and had so many derogatory nicknames for people, she could fill a damn notebook with ‘em.

Maybe that’s how she noticed.

It was a normal day, nothin’ special about it. The only special thing was that Dante and Nero were both called on a mission. There were two big demon infestations within a quarter mile of each other, so they decided (after Nico yelled at them for about half an hour) that they should save gas money by making one trip. She’d drop them off halfway between both sites, and they’d both make their merry way there, kill the thing, then come back.

Nero returned first after an hour and a half. He bitched about her cigarette smoke, like a little baby, and then complained when her tinkering with a prototype got ‘too loud’ for his oh-so-sensitive ears. Another hour passed, then two, then three. As the sun moved further and further west, Nero got more and more antsy, pacing back and forth in the cab.

When Dante finally got back, three hours after Nero returned, Nico’d never seen the boy so happy in her life. He practically jumped out of the van, tackling the blood-soaked Dante to the ground. “You sonuvabitch! Had me worried out of my god damn mind!”

And then—maybe because they thought Nico’s hearing really wasn’t _ that _ good, or maybe he was too tired to hold his tongue—Dante said, “C’mon, sweetheart, you know I wouldn’t do that to ya.”

Nero looked panicked for a split second, his eyes flicking over to Nico. Even though she was an only child, Nico had mastered the art of the Poker Face, and didn’t give away a damn thing. He went back to smiling at Dante like he was a fallen star, or some other waxy poetic shit, because _ oh. _

Oh, they were in love.

Nico felt like a grade-a dumbass. Now all the signs were obvious, like a b-movie trying to shove the cheesy romance right in her face. She could see the glances, the arms brushing against each other, how Nero’s face would light up when Dante would enter the van, or vice versa. Maybe Nico was hallucinating all those moments because she hadn’t been in a steady relationship in more than a year, but c’mon! She’d have to be an idiot not to notice it now!

But still, maybe she was seeing things. All she really had were little, possibly coincidental things, and a damn romantic nickname. Uncles don’t call their nephews ‘sweetheart’ (at least, she assumed they didn’t—she didn’t have any uncles). 

She felt like a damn conspiracy theorist, watching them lean against each other in the back of her van. Dante had taken off his jacket and cleaned off his shirt and pants as best as possible in her van’s shower, but Nero didn’t seem to mind. They looked like a pair of dogs pressing up against each other, basking in each other’s presence.

For weeks, actual _ weeks, _ she couldn’t get it out of her head. It distracted her, lowering the quality of her work, which Nero _ had _ to notice since he was the one who bought her weapons most often. Someone other than herself _ had _ to have noticed.

She couldn’t ask Kyrie, because she doubted that she’d take kindly to the personal question, and for all Nico knew, there was some heartbreak behind it as well. There wasn’t a chance in hell she was going to ask Vergil, even if he used to be that little twink with the cane. She still hadn’t forgiven him for rippin’ off Nero’s arm.

She finally got her chance a month after hearing Dante call Nero his sweetheart. Lady and Trish got a decent pay on a job that Nico chauffeured them to, so they invited her to this fancy little cafe that was _ way _ too high-class for her usual outings. Still, it was free, good quality food, and she wasn’t about to say _ no. _

About five minutes after they sat down (after the lovely hunters stopped patting themselves on the back for their good work), Nico struck out. “So… am I the only one that knows Dante and Nero are dating?”

“No, you aren’t.” Trish chuckled.

“They’ve been a thing ever since Dante came back from Hell.” Lady rolled her eyes and took a dainty bite out of some little, fancy cookies that came with her complimentary coffee. “Hopefully it means I’ll finally get some of my debts taken care of.”

“Huh.” Nico smirked, her paranoia finally eased. “Glad to know I wasn’t just seeing things.”

**Author's Note:**

> Idk why I struggled with THIS PROMPT but I just did I don't know aslfjkaffdkkdkddd


End file.
